Heaven makes my head hurt…

Ya feel me? Believe it or not almost everyone I know has experienced moments of dismay and bewilderment at the thought of heaven. The idea of eternity is particularly unsettling to me. In theory you would think that we would rejoice at the notion of immortality but it doesn’t compute in our minds. Our greatest experiences in life are so momentary and their greatness exists almost entirely in a memory. In fact the memory often increases the perceived greatness of the experience through exaggeration and so a ‘good time’ becomes ‘the greatest time ever.’ Thus the greatness of an event is really amplified by the mundane and unpleasant nature of the rest of life. And here I believe lies the apprehension and near dismay we experience in the thought of heaven. Because it won’t be like those few wonderful moments we have experienced on earth, not even like the peaceful contented periods of serenity (such as experienced in an healthy family). Happiness, or more accurately described—Joy, is never completely consummated and that is what makes it so desirable to us. I liken it to that almost forbidden feeling one gets when pursuing something or someone that can’t be had (“the grass is always greener on the other side” mentality). The larger and lengthier the suffering the greater the fulfillment in consummation and so the enigma of humanity is exposed. We want what we can’t have and if we somehow get it we find that it was to easy to get or that we settled for less than we could have had. Lewis says, “the very nature of Joy makes nonsense of our common distinction between having and wanting.” So Heaven is unfathomable because we know nothing and will never know anything like the promise of Heaven. So I’ve found that an element of faith is required not simply to get to Heaven but also to believe in its benevolence. I picture it like this: imagine a boy who likes a girl and pulls out all the stops to lure her affection and finally realizing she is impossible gives up and precisely at that moment she responds to his invitation and the two finally marry. I see eternity with Christ as that Joy unlike any ever experienced. A Joy that perfectly unites desire a consummation in one continuous never-ending moment. Presently we know nothing even like it…simply split-second glimpses of Joy which gratify but ultimately disappoint. And so we see how essential ‘faith’ is…Paul tells us that without it “it is impossible to please God.” Faith unites those split-second glimpses of Joy with an Absolute Truth that remains even after the feeling subsides.

Toodles.

P.S. I’m working on a poem…perhaps I will post it on this puppy when I finish it. Also I have a have what I belief to be a biblical checklist for a wife entitled My paper Companion.

P.S.S. My thoughts in the above entry are in part a response or reflection on the C.S. Lewis autobiography, Surprised by Joy. My thinking over that last few months has been encouraged and enriched tremendously my reading some of his works. I am inspired by the man and plan to read through his entire catalogue as swiftly as possible. I’m not sure there have been many wiser in all the earth than Clive Staples. Thus far I’ve read: Mere Christianity, The Weight of Glory, The Great Divorce, Surprised by Joy, Reflections on the Psalms, and many of his various essays and letters. I would recommend any one of them.